More Christmas Pics

Here are a few more views of what I am living in:



This is a view out directly outside my room. We go out into the Yapese sunshine...or rain. Nice, huh?

Here is my pillow and all my books...you can see the outside from here. A lot of this stuff is remnant of the last person that lived there.

My towels and the long red thing is my thuw! You can see my banjo case there too.

Bed, sitting chair, windows, concete floor..it's nice! Get a little muggy when is rains, but it's home!

This is the Christmas present my Aunt Barbara sent to me. It had all sorts of good stuff inside! Thanks, ABC!

Merry Christmas!!

Hey everyone,



Chirtmas was very nice! We had some great good. My Aunt Barbara sent a gift package that I opened on Christmas day. I was so excited!! It had Barack Obama's book, The Dark Knight, and other things that I just LOVE!



I also just wanted to share some pictures of my school and home!

Showing you all a big chessey smile!! Merry Christmas!!

My little host nephew on our way to school!! I pass this everyday!

Our dog, one of three, Copra. She is SO sweet!

The view directly outside my room. That is a coconut tree and if you open those fruits...you get really delicious coconut water! MMM---mmm good!

One New Pic from Swear In

Another one from swear in: Enjoy...the unedited version is for my eyes only :)

D

Christmas is coming...

A few things:

Had a Chirstmas party yesterday! Great fun...I took some pictures, ate SO much food that I had to nap afterwards, and had ice cream! So that was good fun for all!

Also, my little "nephew" sees me in my favorite striped shirt and asks, "That shirt is for training, right?!" So I say, "No...what do you mean?" He replies, "You know...like you're in prison...that's a shirt for prison people." I just had to laugh. I love that shirt..and now it's going to make me smile even more.

Also the other day I ask where is my host brother. My newphew replies, "He's playing basketball!" Then he starts SINGING..."He's playing basketballlllll. He's playing basketballlllll." Then he starts the rap part in perfect Enlgish. HAHA! It was great!!

He is so excited about Christmas. I really want to be back in NC for X-mas..but know that I love you all and I miss you all!

I also got a bike here in Yap...good price..good deal. I am hoping to rent Batman: The Dark Knight tonight and watch with my family. I am still adjusting to my new home so letter writing and general communication will be a little slow over the holidays. I will get back to writing letters very soon. I just have to find my stride.

Ok...
Gotta Run,
D

Lots of stuff...good, sad, all around...

So first, after my kind of crazy rant, I wanted to clarify some things that are coming into focus.

The next day I gave a quiz after doing math for about an hour and a half with my 6th and 7th graders. I just took over and did the Mr. Smith thing: show the steps, write them, go over them, practice them, sent the kids home to try on their own.

The day before the quiz I sat an hour after school with the same student whose house I went to for a conference! I gave him a little help..and another teacher was there to help me translate some things into Yapese. This kid, who is the worst, academically, sat there for one hour and finished 20 math problems exactly as I showed him in class. The awesome thing....they were ALL right! It was a really good feeling. I mean this kid has failed EVERYTHING this year so far. So...fast forward to the next day, quiz day. Here is the GREAT news!

Every student except one did all the problems just as I showed...and got them all right!!!!!!! Don't get the wrong idea, please. This isn't to say...oh I am awesome...it's not, I'm not. The thing is....it showed me with a little help and structure these kids can learn on their own. I won't have to pull my hair out! They can do it and with just a little support and a smile. The sternness was still there. If they weren't writing and paying attention I scolded them. Other than that, it was a great day for teaching. It made me feel like I can stay here and get things done!

Next is the sad stuff. Today, Saturday for me, I was listening to Dick Gordon's the story on a Podcast I downloaded. It's a story called, The Greatest Heart. PLEASE GO AND DOWNLOAD IT!! It's amazing!!

http://www.thestory.org/

Basically, it's about a heart transplant and all the feelings there: loss, love, sacrifice, life, sorrow, joy. Well, I couldn't help but think about my Dad. I still think about him a lot. I really miss him. If anyone had the greatest heart...it was him. Then I realized something, it brought me to tears. Lying in my Yapese bedroom, crying, I thought of my Mom and Dad. I realize they gave me a great heart. And Dad, while gone from this place, really does live on in me. There are small affirmations of this all the time. Mom tells me that I remind her of Dad. I see the way people react to my jokes, how easily I can make a friend, and I think of my Dad. He really did have the greatest heart and I have part of it. Well I suppose, now, that he is gone, I have alot of it. Being here I realize that I am directly part of him and he is of me. I don't mean in the scientific way..I mean in the spiritual, intangible way that interconnects everyone.

The thing that really started me thinking this was a comment the heart transplant recipient made on the show. She said that she would go over to the home of the girl who died to give her the heart, Lindsey. She would sit with Lindsey's mother and they would talk, eat, laugh. And she said that Lindsey's mother would feel her pulse to feel Lindsey's pulse. The host asks, "You said Lindsey's pulse?" The girl responds, "Yes, Lindsey's pulse."

Well...I suppose I have Newell's pulse, Newell's heart. Not only that...but I have Susan's heart too. I get my Dad's heart and I also get my Mom's! It was a bit overwhelming for me. I am this living embodiment of my parents' hopes and dreams. I don't know...maybe this isn't the forum for this. A blog of Yap might not be the place to put my familial feelings. Nevertheless, I was so moved that I got up, came to school, and had to write about it. I had to get it out.

Part of me knows this is about the holiday season. This will be first Christmas ever away from my family. I miss my Mom. I have missed my Dad for many years now. I think about them both everyday. My Dad never got to see me teach. He will not see my children (if I have any). He will not see pictures of me in Yap. Yet, today I thought of it this way: with every heartbeat I have, he will live those things with me. He'll put his feet in the warm salt water. He'll see the salt water tears of frustrated students. He'll see students walking barefoot along the road. He'll see me walking the road of my life and be somewhere around me when that road ends.

My Mom will hear about everything. She'll see me smile when I talk. She'll get pieces of Yap in the mail. She'll have more Christmases with me. She'll laugh with me about wild stories about bad students! She will worry about me and know that I will be OK. She'll know I have gone through much worse and have made it here today. She'll know that I will make it through harder times.

My parents, Rick, my family, my friends, have all given me part of themselves to make my heart a better heart. I am still working on it. I see I can be the mean, sarcastic, acidly rude, but ultimately, loving son and friend that misses everyone who contributed to who I am today. Anyway, that was way too sad, too contemplative, too wordy, but I had to get it out. I miss you all. Christmas is coming and I want nothing more than to see all of you.

Much love to all of you,

You have my heart,

You are the greatest,
D

Mr. Smith strikes again....

For those of you that know anything about me...I am apprently, the very serious friend and often times...asshole teacher.

So...after I was fueled up by a great breakfast of Fruit Loops....YES....I ate them....and YES...I love them....I walked 10 minutes to school. This morning I made a student cry. Crying students is something that I am pretty used to. It's hard when I have tried a lot of different things to get the kids to do their homework and take responsibility for their work. Yes, these are only 6th and 7th graders, but their English and academic levels are well below that.

So...I talked with a student about how homework needs to take priority, how school is imporant, and that I just want to help...but I can't help those who do nothing.

Then, after a day of teaching, I went to a student's house to conference with his Grandmother about his poor performance. It was shocking for this white guy to show up to a Yapese household to scold a child for failing literally, every class.

Also, understand: Education is the ONLY way to leave Yap to have what we in the U.S. would consider a better life (more money, opportunities etc.) This is not just something I am spouting off...it is TRULY the only way off the island. That or the military.

Just to be clear...this is not out of the blue. My work is harder here than it ever was in the states. I am at school until 5 on most days (school ends at 2:30). I am writing assesments for things, making multiple lesson plans, and staying up until 11 o'clock last night helping one of my students, who lives next door, finish his homework. Please don't take this blog as a complaint. The point is, I really do love teaching. I want to pull my hair out, I want to scream, I want to break things, I want to die sometimes BUT....it comes from the fact that I just want the kids to UNDERSTAND. So...with that in mind, the universe continues calling me to teach from the U.S. Read here in a note from a former chemistry student:


Hey Mr. Smith!I want to thank you for teaching me all of the chemistry that you taught me last year...I know that I definitely did not appreciate all of it during the Honors Chem course...but I definitely appreciate it now that I am in AP Chem. Every time we start a new topic, I am able to go into it with a basic understanding and that really helps me get the grades that I want. I averaged a 95 last quarter and I have a solid 98 so far this quarter. I had wanted to find a way to thank you earlier but only very recently remembered that you had a Facebook. Anyways, thanks once again.


I just want everyone to know...and all my critics, because I have MANY, to know I love teaching and my methods, while sometimes harsh, work. I HATED being the most hated chemistry teacher at my old school. But...emails such as this make it all worth it. Everyone knew I was mean, hard, short-tempered, but I also found out, very recently, that my students did great on the chemistry EOC.

I am also a hard ass becuase I was a crappy student. My parents fought with my tooth and nail to do the things I needed to do. I turned out O.K. Academically, I could have done SO much more...gone to a better school, got more scholarships, etc. I didn't. The only reason: I was LAZY. So I don't allow laziness from my students!

So...I am trying to transfer these things here. I have come to Yap, I gave up a damn good life in NC, I miss my family, I miss my friends, I miss my dog...but, if I can teach some of these kids to read, to think, to enjoy learning, I will have done something good here. Sometimes I get sad and wish I would have stayed home but these kids need me. The teachers need me and I WANT to help! Am I crazy?!?! I know I am rambling a bit...but your thoughts would be nice. Were your mean teachers your best ones? I want to be like Mrs. Woolard: kind, compassionate, loving, nurturing, or Mrs. Smith--whose eternal optimism in her students kept her (and me)alive. Or Mrs. Warren, who knew just when to back off...becuase she is a hard ass too! Yet, her students knew that she loved the hell out of them if they tried. Can I do it? Is it in me? Can I be a nice Mr. Smith? I don't know.

All I know is that I have the want and the knowledge to help. That is a good start. What else can I do?

I miss you all. I miss Enloe, I miss my chemistry department. I especially miss my family now that it's Christmas and we LOVED that holiday together. Yet again, I come back to the fact that I THINK I am helping...that I am truly changing lives 1000s of miles away. And maybe, just maybe, one day, a Yapese child will go to a college in the U.S. and make something good from the few Enligh vocab words I taught. It's a great thought...and I really feel it will come true. I miss you all.

D

Lobster Dinner!!!

Ok...so yesterday morning our nieghbor, my host father's brother, asks, "Do you like lobster?" And I answered something long the lines that I have only had it a few times in my life. So he asks, "Would you like to try it again?" Of course, I answer, yes. So he hands me a plastic bag with a huge lobster in it. I didn't even realize how large it was!!!

So here is the finished product. It was very tasty and we still have more. I am not even sure how much this would cost in the U.S. I asked my host Mom to put her hand in the picture to show you some scale. Cool huh??!?! I think that would be what, $50??? And how much did it cost me? A Thank YOu and a smile!!! Oh Micronesia....how amazing you can be!!


My host mother prepares it and here is the product:

This one is of me....My friend, Alyssa, is copped out becuase she is VERY topless and I didn't think she would like me putting up her tuttus on the internet!! I mean, unless she was going to get paif of course!! Just kiddin'! So this is another swear in pic where I am in full Yapese dress!

Finally, this is what I see when I sleep!! Can you see yourself?!?! If not, send me a picture!! My address is right on this blog!! Get going!!

School is going well. Soon I will take pictures of students, the school, the view, the teachers, and my library project. It's good....it's SO much harder than teaching in the U.S. I am working much harder but the kids are trying. I am also starting some work on the banjo so hopefully, I will be able to play soon. Wagon Wheel by Old Crow Medicine Show makes me smile sadly. That song really makes me miss NC!! I hope you all are well there!!

Much love,

D

Also, as an aside I just finished reading, Their Eyes Were Watching God. Wow...that book is good..you should read it!